Hello blog. It's been ages since I blogged, sorry ): I'm sick recently, so sick that I went to visit the doc TWICE. Still kinda fed up that I tied 300 choc boxes in the freezing room like hello?? I'm sick with sore throat and cough and y'all still asked me to do that and I stood in the room for like 3-4 hrs straight and noone even bothered to ask me to stop or what zzz luckily I can go off at 8.30pm or else I will break down and cry and scream and probably die of coughing or care away all the customers and receive tons of complains. Anyway, I'm feeling so so so so much better now heheeheheh excluding the occasional cough and I'm in a pretty good mood today, right after I start to watch Love around. The male lead is just too handsum *~*
He is so darn handsome and I loooo0ooo0oove guys who are like these: quiet (so he can listen to me rant and talk) but with a hint of humour (to make me laugh) , handsome (effortlessly), charming, caring sobs and tall and so lovable with his shy smile and how he's always so cool and quiet and so understanding and a nice temper. I really need my future boyf to be like this sigh i really hope for someone who will never get tired of my voice and will always lend an listening ear. I guess this is why I cannot forget M. To me, he wasn't a lover although he's all of the above. He made me realised that he is the type of guy I love. To me, he was a brother that guided me and treat me like a princess hehehehehehe always listening to me and making me laugh and always always being there for me as a friend. I feel so loved (like a younger sis) by him and this made me realised that my future boyf needs to be like this too, somebody that treats me right :-) Too bad all these feelings have gone away......now we're just people we used to talk till late in the night. I really miss ya.... I bet you don't. I hope you still read my letter time to time but you got someone like her to make fun of, laugh with, talk to and i really think you're the one she talks about in her blog. It's sad and I keep comparing herself to me and I know it's wrong to just assume based on my gut instinct but it somehow just points to you. Not only that, she thinks you're handsome???????? you cfm talk to her ALOT. and this just makes me so sad. I really want you all to myself M. You are a special friend to me, someone who's not in my age group, someone all my friends don't know so I can tell you anything and everything. I know I should accept that we have no more topics which is why both of us stopped talking but I really wonder what do you and her talk about and you dislike girls who swear. That's why you want me to pay you 5 bux for every swear word i say or typed. She swears more than me, M. Come back to me please and I will never give you a reason to leave again. That's my wish and that's why wishes remains as wishes. Even if you do come back to me, we will just talk about me (only me because you don't really share) and we will run out of topics again becus we don't really have the same bunch of friends or whatever to talk about. Sigh I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing that you're gone now.........I miss you so bad, like so badly that I feel so sad whenever I read her blog. It's been three months and I hope you're doing fine and I will always remember you even if you forget me.
Watching love around made me so happy and I really feel like doing good things and everything good will happen to me if i believe in myself. What's wrong with me hhaahahhahaha must be staying at home too much. I haven't went out since the start of holidays???!! But finally, PROMOS R OVER. This means my sec sch friends are free and I can finally go out with them and I'm so excited to meet up with jas zy and yy heheheheheheheh i love them very much, so much that I feel so blessed to have them, so grateful that I want to give them a tight hug :-*
Also, I need to stop talking to X. I know you like me and talking to you isn't gonna make things easier. I have to stop sending out wrong signals and it's normal for friends to talk too so I can't shut you out completely but you have to stop talking to me. Stop worrying about me, it's not doing you any good liking someone like me. I'm not mature enough to be your gf or someone special to you. And I mean it when I say I'm not mature. I can't get past the fact that you are handsome, or above average (according to my standards) and the fact that you're working now and not studying. What kind of future will that be? Please. Call me a realist but I will never consider you as someone special. Never. so stop all of these.
I realise i should probably start reading up on my sch notes because I forgot EVERYTHING. but then.........I learnt that you can never forget in psych. There's only misplacing of information, no 'forgetting' AHAHAHAAHAHAHHAA so all these years I've been misplacing my attention which results in a misplace of information lol. ok so nerdy ah i can't take it.
Time to clear the air bye.