Thursday, September 5, 2013

Happy Teacher's Day

Happy teachers day to all the teachers who are so loving and dedicated. Tbh, i don't think any teacher really likes me. I'm not very good or very bad for teachers to really notice me. I'm always kinda under appreciated sigh and i'm forever struggling with popularity. It's somehow so important to me to be popular, constantly surrounded people who are popz ( some don't even know they are popular). There's this thought that's always telling me that if you aren't popular, you are nothing. Like the dust in the air, like the weeds among the flowers, you are nothing. You mean nothing. And this troubles me alot, more than i should. I know this thinking is really bad but i really want to be popular ): And this is why i hate myself, I'm always looking down on others and I know that I shouldn't. In fact, I can't. I have no right to.

On a lighter note, I went back to anderson today and I'm really happy to see so many familiar faces. The people, or rather some made me realized that I need them. They really make me feel so comfortable and I'm really happy i feel that way around my poly friends too. I don't miss my sec sch friends that much as others do because I'm enjoying life in poly and it shows that i should keep it up! Nonetheless, it was really great to see them again, like how much we've changed in one year!! Went home with steph and truth to be told, I really miss her but I accept the fact that this is all we can ever be: friends. We can't progress to close or best friends but I'm just really thankful that we are still friends despite everything that has happened last year. Talked about poly, jc and friends made me really happy that it's still so easy to talk to her.

Went home and did household chores hahahaha and i flared up cause my mum cooked tomatoes and fish which I absolutely freaking HATE. I really abhor the smell of fish and the squishiness of tomatoes so it was really a struggle to finish it. I admit I was really rude as my emotions got the better of me. I need to keep my temper in check. I really hate fish and tomatoes that i can cry eating them lol that's how much i hate it.

Having subcomm camp tomorrow and I'm not rly looking forward to it. I haven't even fill up the form or pack anything unlike the previous times ): Feeling so lazy and I doubt it'll even be fun. Plus, I have to leave early to rush to my gram's to celebrate my sis bday sigh. It's gonna be tiring these two days and I still have work on Sunday. Skipping my band pracs for this camp so it better be good.

I hate my guts.

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